A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.

The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no sense of humour.

I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.

To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet.

Travel' is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in themid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease - its scientific name is travelitis furiosus - is carried by a germ called prosperity.

On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally worshipped as in ancient Egypt.

Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better.