In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your own personal view that two and two make four, but you must not state it in a self-assured way, because this is a democratic country and others may be of a different opinion.

You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if you are tired; if anybody thinks that you might be tired; if you are nervous; if you are gay; before you go out; if you are out; if you have just returned home; if you feel like it; if you do not feel like it; if you have had no tea for some time; if you have just had a cup.

You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.

A foreign observer is struck by our gentleness: by the orderly behaviour of the English crowds, the lack of pushing and quarrelling, the willingness to form queues.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.