It had never occurred to him that the body of a woman of fifty, blown up to monstrous dimensions by childbearing, then hardened, roughened by work til it was coarse in the grain like an overripe turnip, could be beautiful. But is was so, and after all, he thought, why not?

The war is waged against its own subjects and its object is not the victory...but to keep the very structure of society intact.

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.

The real test of character is how you treat someone who has no possibility of doing you any good.

The food crank is by definition a person willing to cut himself off from human society in the hopes of adding five years onto the life of his carcase; that is, a person out of touch with common humanity.

The Penguin books are splendid value for sixpence, so splendid that if other publishers had any sense they would combine against them and suppress them.

News is something somebody doesn't want printed; all else is advertising.