Reason is itself a matter of faith. It is an act of faith to assert that our thoughts have any relation to reality at all.

There are an infinity of angles at which one falls, only one at which one stands.

Then I only wondered who put the toys in the stocking; now I wonder who put the stocking by the bed, and the bed in the room, and the room in the house, and the house on the planet, and the great planet in the void.

children are simply human beings who are allowed to do what everyone else really desires to do, as for instance, to fly kites, or when seriously wronged to emit prolonged screams for several minutes.

Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline.

Puritanism was an honourable mood; it was a noble fad. In other words, it was a highly creditable mistake.

The old idea that the joke was not good enough for the company has been superseded by the new aristocratic idea that the company was not worthy of the joke. They have introduced an almost insane individualism into that one form of intercourse which is specially and uproariously communal. They have made even levities into secrets. They have made laughter lonelier than tears.