What would you like?" "A skinny decaf latte." This is a ridiculous form of coffee, but I did not point it out.

I watched as Humphrey Bogart’s character used beans as a metaphor for the relative unimportance in the wider world of his relationship with Ingrid Bergman’s character, and chose logic and decency ahead of his selfish emotional desires. The quandary and resulting decision made for an engrossing film. But this was not what people cried about. They were in love and could not be together. I repeated this statement to myself, trying to force an emotional reaction. I couldn’t. I didn’t care. I had enough problems of my own.

Fortunately, I am accustomed to creating amusement inadvertently.

Our first relationship with a male is with our fathers. It affects how we relate to men forever.

To the world's most perfect woman. It was lucky my father was not present. Perfect is an absolute that cannot be modified, like unique or pregnant. My love for Rosie was so powerful that it had caused my brain to make a grammatical error.

Restaurants are minefields for the socially inept

Humans often fail to see what is close to them and obvious to others.