I set out to write a screenplay but, since my early 20s, had dreamed of writing a novel.

I set out to write a screenplay but, since my early 20s, had dreamed of writing a novel.

Restaurants are minefields for the socially inept

I know this song!’ Rosie laughed. ‘If you didn’t, that’d be the final proof that you’re from Mars.

To the world's most perfect woman. It was lucky my father was not present. Perfect is an absolute that cannot be modified, like unique or pregnant. My love for Rosie was so powerful that it had caused my brain to make a grammatical error.

There are so many weird people that nobody takes any notice. We all just fit right in.

What would you like?" "A skinny decaf latte." This is a ridiculous form of coffee, but I did not point it out.