Same thing every year, getting up at the crack of dawn, drinking, fighting, throwing up, pissing on walls and then you leave the house and things get bad.

The compulsion to do the opposite of what you are told does not lend itself to many occupations outside the entertainment industry. Within the industry, it is unlikely that you will be very successful without it.

When you're not 21, it's great to drink because you're not allowed to. You're a rebel: you gotta get a fake I.D., you gotta find a place to drink it, you gotta sneak in drunk. And if you get away with all that, you're laying in bed, your heart's pounding, you got vomit on your chin. You're like, 'I'm a rebel!' And you are. You're cool.

My grandfather is from Ireland. His name is Florence McCarthy. He moved to New York in 1920. They used to beat him up because his name was Florence. He had to switch his name to Frank. And then this Christmas, he made an announcement - he goes, 'I'm switching me name back to Florence.' And we beat him up, 'cause it's a dumb name and he's old and weak and it was easy.

I love when problems have simple solutions. Cold medicine. Umbrellas. Condoms. Tax incentives & subsidies attracting favored industries.

Don't be like me. Look at me: monogamous, in shape, no debt, sober... I'm dead inside.

If we don't have souls then who am I talking to when I keep telling myself to be good?