There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think, for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it. We were all kind of doing a similar kind of stand up, and I started to see some original voices come out of Boston.

They say no one knows if we all see red the same way. Except traffic cops.

They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds. The other 19 are shame.

I'm kinda stuck in that awkward in-between stage where my hair is just starting to fall out, but I'm still maintaining my youthful acne.

When a banana gets rotten people love to tell you that you can make banana bread out of it. I have never seen anyone actually do it.

Don't be like me. Look at me: monogamous, in shape, no debt, sober... I'm dead inside.

Somebody stole my identity. Good luck using it without the medications.