What I'm going to miss is the competition, being, that's OK, I can watch from the house.

Some things get better with age. And then there's Madonna.

I want to make a positive point of Ikea. It makes income inequality a minor distraction.

Eric Holder sees everything through the prism of race. He keeps that mustache because shaving cream is white.

Being a conservative on campus is like bing a goat amongst the taliban. You are never safe.

Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.

I'm so tired of the same old cliche costumes. When people dress up as animals, they always go as, like, lions and tigers and dogs. You know, why don't you try something different? Dress up like a lemur.