Let's be clear about what people never say about Playboy on television. It was nothing more than an instrument for onanism. That's what it was. And the Internet co-opted that industry of self- gratification. There is no necessity for lonely men or teenagers to use Playboy. It turns out no one bought that magazine for the articles ever; it was used for only one thing.

The people who whine about Fox News are hypocrites - they say they're totally tolerant, but when they run into someone who doesn't share their assumptions, they say, 'Fox News is evil, and it must be stopped.

Chris Matthews is so nuts that if he ate a snickers bar it would be cannibalism.

America is like the greatest hit of the world.

Legal gun ownership always prevails over the emotionalism of the gun control movement.

Steer clear of pot. It's an ambition zapper. Wait till you've made it. When you're 45 buy a bong. But for now, buy a suit.

The first mistake is trying to explain morality to a terrorist. Like trying to teach a rock to drive. It is impossible.