Being a conservative on campus is like bing a goat amongst the taliban. You are never safe.

The most problematic word in America is the word "problematic." It's a wuss word used by people to silence language without actually saying that they want to silence you. They don't want to go full fascist.

Politicians, you know Harry Reid hates you. We get it. But when somebody from "The New York Times" or "The Washington Post" is saying this stuff, that's different, that's offensive, that's wrong.

The longer I live, the more I'm convinced the world is just one big high school, with the cool kids always targeting the uncool.

When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens.

I would like to see a president with a monocle.

I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.