Paternity, paternity. Let's think about this. This discriminates against the childless. So you get a year off because you produce a brat. If anything if you have a child you should work more because your brat's going to annoy me at the restaurants.

Planned Parenthood's entire existence is basically based on keeping people in the dark through euphemism. You don't call it genocide, you call it reproductive health. So that's why Planned Parenthood has - nobody really thought.

I agree and I disagree in the sense that I think that he [Donald Trump] has a fondness for autocrats, but at the same time, isn't he talking about like perception of defending your country.

[Obamacare] has to be enforced because nobody wants it. This is the nature of progressive government they don't care if it's not good for you. It's good for them.

The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.

The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple.

Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls