Paternity, paternity. Let's think about this. This discriminates against the childless. So you get a year off because you produce a brat. If anything if you have a child you should work more because your brat's going to annoy me at the restaurants.

Accusing a politician of being politically expedient is like accusing water of being wet or circles for being round.

I have friends my age who started smoking pot when they got out of college. They didn't get anywhere. But if they drank, they managed to go somewhere. Does that make sense?

Steer clear of pot. It's an ambition zapper. Wait till you've made it. When you're 45 buy a bong. But for now, buy a suit.

Private citizens and companies are always seen as evil and greedy, because they want to profit. But the government picks your pocket any chance it can get, but they're never called greedy.

I've always wondered, how did Hitler get away with so much for so long?

When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens. I think that your people, when you save a place. But the problem is, then you see immigrants saving cities in Baltimore and you see 40 Korean groceries get burned down.