I'm so tired of the same old cliche costumes. When people dress up as animals, they always go as, like, lions and tigers and dogs. You know, why don't you try something different? Dress up like a lemur.

It's not enough to be right because he [Rick Perry] is right, you got to be persuasively right, got to be intellectually agile, and I think he can do it.

The media is Obama's scandal condom.

The beauty of progress is that it makes it easier for you to carve out a space to be nonproductive.

Private citizens and companies are always seen as evil and greedy, because they want to profit. But the government picks your pocket any chance it can get, but they're never called greedy.

In the hands of fiends, guns will kill you. In your hands, they protect against such fiends.

The problem with leftism as a vice is that everyone else is stuck with the hangover.