Some boys go to college and eventually succeed in getting out. Others go to college and never succeed in getting out. The latter are called professors.

Psychotherapy is the theory that the patient will probably get well anyhow and is certainly a damn fool.

[Science] must be amoral by its very nature: The minute it begins separating facts into the two categories of good ones and bad ones it ceases to be science and becomes a mere nuisance, like theology.

Our literature, despite several false starts that promised much, is chiefly remarkable, now as always, for its respectable mediocrity.

Man makes love by braggadocio, and woman makes love by listening.

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.