To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment.

The difference between the smartest dog and the stupidest man - say a Tennessee Holy Roller - is really very small.

Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.

Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.

When we appropriate money from the public funds to pay for vaccinating a horde of negroes, we do not do it because we have any sympathy for them or because we crave their blessings, but simply because we don't want them to be falling ill of smallpox

It is a peculiarity of the American mind that it regards any excursion into the truth as an adventure into cynicism.

The ideal state for a philosopher, indeed, is celibacy tempered by polygamy.