I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself.

The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain disdain; he is anything but her ideal. In consequence, she cannot help feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is their father.

Wife: a former sweetheart.

A man full of faith is simply one who has lost the capacity for clear and realistic thought.

Pedagogues: More than any other class of blind leaders of the blind they are responsible for the degrading standardization which now afflicts the American people.

Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality.

The artist is not a reporter, but a Great Teacher. It is not his business to depict the world as it is, but as it ought to be.