The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her.

It is difficult to imagine anyone having any real hopes for the human race in the face of the fact that the great majority of men still believe that the universe is run by a gaseous vertebrate of astronomical heft and girth, who is nevertheless interested in the minutest details of the private conduct of even the meanest man.

Everyman is thoroughly happy twice in his life, just after he has met his first love, and just after he has left his last one.

After all, the world is not our handiwork, and we are not responsible for what goes on in it, save within very narrow limits.

Who will argue that 98.6 Farenheit is the right temperature for man? As for me, I decline to do it. It may be that we are all actually freezing hence the pervading stupidity of mankind. At 110 or 115 degrees even archbishops might be intelligent.

What ass first let loose the doctrine that the suffrage is a high boon and voting a noble privilege?

A woman wishes to mother a man simply because she sees into his helplessness, his need of an amiable environment, his touching self-delusion.