People say we need religion when what they really mean is we need police.

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.

It is almost impossible for an Anglo-Saxon to write of sex without being dirty.

The difference between the smartest dog and the stupidest man - say a Tennessee Holy Roller - is really very small.

When I mount the scaffold at last these will be my farewell words to the sheriff: Say what you will against me when I am gone, but don't forget to add, in common justice, that I was never converted to anything.

Who ever heard, indeed, of an autobiography that was not (interesting)? I can recall none in all the literature of the world

The only kind of freedom that the mob can imagine is freedom to annoy and oppress its betters, and that is precisely the kind that we mainly have.