There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher: they exist only in romantic legend.

Unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency should be quietly hanged as a matter of public sanitation and decorum.

How do they taste? They taste like more.

The average schoolmaster is and always must be essentially an ass, for how can one imagine an intelligent man engaging in so puerile an avocation.

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

The Puritan, of course, is not entirely devoid of aesthetic feeling. He has a taste for good form; he responds to style; he is even capable of something approaching a purely aesthetic emotion. But he fears this aesthetic emotion as an insinuating distraction from his chief business in life: the sober consideration of the all-important problem of conduct. Art is a temptation, a seduction, a Lorelei, and the Good Man may safely have traffic with it when it is broken to moral uses--in other words, when its innocence is pumped out of it, and it is purged of gusto.

The older I get the more I admire and crave competence, just simple competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.