Man is a natural polygamist: he always has one woman leading him by the nose, and another hanging on to his coattails.

Law and its instrument, government, are necessary to the peace and safety of all of us, but all of us, unless we live the lives of mud turtles, frequently find them arrayed against us.

Women have a hard enough time in this world: telling them the truth would be too cruel.

The intellectual heritage of the race belongs to the minority.

No man of honor ever quite lives up to his code, any more than a moral man manages to avoid sin.

The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.

Consider him in his highest incarnation: the university professor. What is his function? Simply to pass on to fresh generations of numskulls a body of so-called knowledge that is fragmentary, unimportant, and, in large part, untrue. His whole professional activity is circumscribed by the prejudices, vanities and avarices of his university trustees, i.e., a committee of soap-boilers, nail manufacturers, bank-directors and politicians. The moment he offends these vermin he is undone. He cannot so much as think aloud without running a risk of having them fan his pantaloons.