A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.

The only really respectable Protestants are the fundamentalists. Unfortunately, they are also palpable idiots.

There is no idea so stupid that you can't find a professor who will believe it.

The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected.

New York is the place where all the aspirations of the western world meet to form one vast master aspiration, as powerful as the suction of a steam dredge. It is the icing on the pie called Christian civilization.

If there had been any formidable body of cannibals in the country, Harry Truman would have promised to provide them with free missionaries fattened at the taxpayer's expense.

Science is unflinchingly deterministic, and it has begun to force its determinism into morals. On some shining tomorrow a psychoanalyst may be put into the box to prove that perjury is simply a compulsion neurosis, like beating time with the foot at a concert or counting the lampposts along the highway.