A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.

Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.

Women hate revolutions and revolutionists. They like men who are docile, and well-regarded at the bank, and never late at meals.

The American people, North and South, went into the [Civil] war as citizens of their respective states, they came out as subjects ... what they thus lost they have never got back.

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose - for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.

It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.

Any man who, having a child or children he can't support, proceeds to have another should be sterilized at once.