Suicide is a belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives.

The taboos that I have mentioned are extraordinarily harsh and numerous. They stand around nearly every subject that is genuinely important to man: they hedge in free opinion and experimentation on all sides. Consider, for example, the matter of religion. It is debated freely and furiously in almost every country in the world save the United States, but here the critic is silenced. The result is that all religions are equally safeguarded against criticism, and that all of them lose vitality. We protect the status quo, and so make steady war upon revision and improvement.

Love begins like a triolet and ends like a college yell.

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

How to Drink Like a Gentleman: The Things to Do and the Things Not To, as Learned in 30 Years' Extensive Research.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

It is not the drinker, but the man who has just stopped drinking, who thinks the world is going to the dogs.