Let no one mistake it for comedy, farcical though it may be in all its details. It serves notice on the country that Neanderthal man is organizing in these forlorn backwaters of the land, led by a fanatic, rid of sense and devoid of conscience.

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Not by accident, you may be sure, do the Christian Scriptures make the father of knowledge a serpent - slimy, sneaking and abominable.

The worst government is the most moral.

The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down.

The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all men are just as easy to fool.

If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x times y is less than y