It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself up out of the dark abyss of pish and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again.

America's biggest failure is its inability to take comedy seriously.

When a husband's story is believed, he begins to suspect his wife.

The plain people, hereafter as in the past, will continue to make their own language, and the best that grammarians can do is to follow after it, haltingly, and not often with much insight into it.

War is the only sport which is genuinely amusing. And it is the only sport which has any intelligible use.

There's no underestimating the intelligence of the American public.