The Americans are the illegitimate children of the English.

The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.

Taxation, for example, is eternally lively; it concerns nine-tenths of us more directly than either smallpox or golf, and has just as much drama in it; moreover, it has been mellowed and made gay by as many gaudy, preposterous theories

The Christian always swears a bloody oath that he will never do it again. The civilized man simply resolves to be a bit more careful next time.

In every woman's life there is one real and consuming love. But very few women guess which one it is.

Never underestimate the bad taste of the American public

All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.