Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. Without the ameliorations that it offers, life would become a mere syllogism and hence too metallic to be borne.

Why do men delight in work? Fundamentally, I suppose, because there is a sense of relief and pleasure in getting something done - a kind of satisfaction not unlike that which a hen enjoys on laying an egg.

The saddest life is that of a political aspirant under democracy. His failure is ignominious and his success is disgraceful.

The music critic, Huneber, could never quite make up his mind about a new symphony until he had seen the composer's mistress.

If a sense of duty tortures a man, it also enables him to achieve prodigies.

One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.

The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.