The ideal state for a philosopher, indeed, is celibacy tempered by polygamy.

All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers.

The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good-bye to the Bill of Rights.

Man makes love by braggadocio, and woman makes love by listening.

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.

The fundamental trouble with marriage is that it shakes a man's confidence in himself, and so greatly diminishes his general competence and effectiveness. His habit of mind becomes that of a commander who has lost a decisive and calamitous battle. He quite trusts himself thereafter.

Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.