God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

It is the natural tendency of the ignorant to believe what is not true. In order to overcome that tendency it is not sufficient to exhibit the true; it is also necessary to expose and denounce the false.

The real charm of the United States is that it is the only comic country ever heard of.

The allurement that women hold out to men is precisely the allurement that Cape Hatteras holds out to sailors; they are enormously dangerous and hence enormously fascinating.

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack.

Experience is a poor guide to man, and is seldom followed. What really teaches a man is not experience, but observation.

The saddest life is that of a political aspirant under democracy. His failure is ignominious and his success is disgraceful.