The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the incredible.

...no man of genuinely superior intelligence has ever been an actor. Even supposing a young man of appreciable mental powers to be lured upon the stage, as philosophers are occasionally lured into bordellos, his mind would be inevitably and almost immediately destroyed by the gaudy nonsense issuing from his mouth every night.

The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.

Never underestimate the booberie of the booboisie.

The more I think you over, the more it comes home to me what an unmitigated Middle Victorian ass you are!

I have long been convinced that the idea of liberty is abhorrent to most human beings. What they want is security, not freedom. Thus it seldom causes any public indignation when an enterprising tyrant claps down on one of his enemies. To most men it seems a natural proceeding.

The Christian always swears a bloody oath that he will never do it again. The civilized man simply resolves to be a bit more careful next time.