Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites?

Women hate revolutions and revolutionists. They like men who are docile, and well-regarded at the bank, and never late at meals.

I give you Chicago. It is not London and Harvard. It is not Paris and buttermilk. It is American in every chitling and sparerib. It is alive from snout to tail.

Philosophy first constructs a scheme of happiness and then tries to fit the world to it.

No romantic novel ever written in America, by man or woman, is one half so beautiful as My Ántonia.

Any man who, having a child or children he can't support, proceeds to have another should be sterilized at once.

Only to often on meeting scientific men, even those of genuine distiction, one finds that they are dull fellows and very stupid. They know one thing to excess; they know nothing else. Pursuing facts too doggedly and unimaginatively, they miss all the charming things that are not facts. ... Too much learning, like too little learning, is an unpleasant and dangerous thing.