The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries and then went roistering down the highways of the world, proving to all men that doubt, after all, was safe - that the god in the sanctuary was finite in his power and hence a fraud. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.

The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.

The true bureaucrat is a man of really remarkable talents. He writes a kind of English that is unknown elsewhere in the world, and an almost infinite capacity for forming complicated and unworkable rules.

The great difficulty about keeping the Ten Commandments is that no man can keep them and be a gentleman.

On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.

Voting is simply a way of determining which side is the stronger without putting it to the test of fighting.

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.