A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean by twice, what by two, what by makes, and what by four. For asking such questions metaphysicians are supported in oriental luxury in the universities, and respected as educated and intelligent men.

The only really respectable Protestants are the fundamentalists. Unfortunately, they are also palpable idiots.

There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher: they exist only in romantic legend.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

A great nation is any mob of people which produces at least one honest man a century.

It takes no more actual sagacity to carry on the everyday hawking and haggling of the world, or to ladle out its normal doses of bad medicine and worse law, than it takes to operate a taxicab or fry a pan of fish.

If what I may believe - about gall-stones, the Constitution, castor oil, or God - is conditioned by law, then I am not a free man.