What we need in this country is a general improvement in eating. We have the best raw materials in the world, both quantitatively and qualitatively, but most of them are ruined in the process of preparing them for the table.

For me to go into politics would be like sending a virgin into a house of ill-repute.

Next to the semi-colon, quotation marks seem to be the chief butts of reformatory ardor.

The New Deal began, like the Salvation Army, by promising to save humanity. It ended, again like the Salvation Army, by running flop-houses and disturbing the peace.

I believe that it should be perfectly lawful to print even things that outrage the pruderies and prejudices of the general, so long as any honest minority, however small, wants to read them. The remedy of the majority is not prohibition, but avoidance.

I roll out of my couch every morning with the more agreeable expectations.

The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected.