I have very little patience for teachers who teach their students things that are wrong.

‎Sometimes I feel like when someone asks me if I believe in God, it's like a blind person asking if I'm black, so that they can put me in the right category.

Being silly is still allowed, not excluded by adulthood. What's excluded by adulthood is thoughtlessness, so be thoughtful and silly

So the president is like, "Well, once upon a time it was Congress's job to decide whether or not we attacked countries, so let's let them decide." Which is funny, because, as we all know, if Congress were on fire, Congress could not pass the "Pour Water on Congress Act".

You are always a little bit wrong

I think it's pretty ridiculous to sit back and think that we've changed the horse so much, without realizing that they have changed us an awful lot too.

But the truth of the matter is, to live a good life, as a good person, it doesn't matter how you got there. It just matters that you do.