I'm also pretty impressive when I'm shoving the neck of a lute into someone's chest cavity.

Being silly is still allowed, not excluded by adulthood. What's excluded by adulthood is thoughtlessness, so be thoughtful and silly

You are always a little bit wrong

Some days, it seems to me like the purpose of life is to convert energy into beauty.

Marriage can be a religious thing. It can also be a secular thing. And guess what? Not everyone in the world is of the same religion. Preventing gay people from getting married is not an expression of religious freedom. It's an expression of religious oppression.

I honestly don't know how you live without having a cat inside your house. It's like having a little living piece of art that is also very warm and soft.

So the president is like, "Well, once upon a time it was Congress's job to decide whether or not we attacked countries, so let's let them decide." Which is funny, because, as we all know, if Congress were on fire, Congress could not pass the "Pour Water on Congress Act".