The greatest of men, they don't get too big to cry. They just loose faith in love and life.

Some high society lady said is your horse outside? No ma'am, he's between my legs, but your too fat to ride.

I'd love to spit some Beechnut in that dude's eye and shoot him with my ole forty-five.

I went and got a tire tool out of my truck, and straightened him out as cold as a block of ice. It was an attitude adjustment, and it'll work every time.

He plead insanity like they do now all the time. Sir, what would you have done in 1859?

You're singing a song about making love to your drummer, well gay guitar pickers don't turn me on.

Have pity on a dinosaur.