There have been times I've been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, 'Time to go home.'

We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.

I didn't really get into comedy until a couple months before I started doing comedy.

I didn't audition for 'SNL.' I sent in a tape to 'SNL' the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I'm the worst comedian ever.