Everything's a conspiracy and everything's not a conspiracy. You could look at this planet and go, "This is all a conspiracy. God made this to test us to see if we'll use the nukes." You can let your mind believe anything.

The thing I love about sketch is sometimes it leads you as opposed to you leading it. So, I don't go out there [thinking], "Oh, I want to make this as silly as possible." In fact, sometimes I get the most enjoyment out of a sketch that plays very real - and it's so real that it's just funny.

I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey.

I love the theater of the mind because you can go anywhere. You can say anything, and you pull people in. [You] can be jumping out of a window or riding a cow or having bubble-wrap sex or spraying your body with Pam and sliding out of your chair.

I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where youre going to spend good money - and there are kids in there crying.

I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City.

The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life.