The thing I love about sketch is sometimes it leads you as opposed to you leading it.

I used to do little sketches into my cassette tape recorder when I was a little boy. I would just turn it on and just start doing voices and characters. I just loved it.

I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey.

Pumpkins are the only living organisms with triangle eyes.

I love the theater of the mind because you can go anywhere. You can say anything, and you pull people in. [You] can be jumping out of a window or riding a cow or having bubble-wrap sex or spraying your body with Pam and sliding out of your chair.

I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where youre going to spend good money - and there are kids in there crying.

The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life.