Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, "We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate." People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.

Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.

We need to hear the sound of our voice for what we think and need.

Often when someone apologizes - like a parent who says to a child, "I'm very sorry I neglected you when you were a kid" - they also ask, "Do you forgive me?," because they want the other person to be over it. However, healing can take a great deal of time. And if we forgive too quickly, we cut the process short.

We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate I's into one worldview.

If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.

the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.