My first real crush was... Louis Tomlinson.
I’ve got four nipples. I think I must have been a twin, but the one other went away and left its nipples behind.
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could just by pressing her follow button.
The difference between doing something and not doing something is doing something.
Simple, yet effective!
Australian schools have cool uniforms. I wish I had to wear a woven straw hat for maths.