According to his dad's journal, vampires had been through some of the worst epidemics in history. And apparently, during the days of the Black Plague, their biggest complaint had been rotten "food".

A word of advice, if I may? Explosions are an excellent way to kill the undead. But you should probably take a few steps back first, kid.

Whoever had decided that school should start so early in the morning and last all day long needed to be hunted down and forced to watch hours of educational televison without the aid of caffine.

They'll torture you for months before killing you if you run" Otis shrugged, as if this was an everyday occurrence.

The world is full of monsters with friendly faces.

Vlad made a mental note to amend the friend code: thou shalt not date the girl that thy best friend has a crush on...nor shalt thou try sticking thy best friend in the chest with a sharp hunk of wood.

Funny how mishearing things-or not hearing them at all-can really screw things up