Find yourself a cup; the teapot is behind you. Now tell me about hundreds of things.

Hors d'oeuvres have always a pathetic interest for me; they remind me of one's childhood that one goes through wondering what the next course is going to be like - and during the rest of the menu one wishes one had eaten more of the hors d'oeuvres.

A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she's killed it.

Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

Think how many blameless lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretions of other people.

He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.

Never be a pioneer. It's the early Christian that gets the fattest lion.