I am the assasin of my dreams.

We Californians can watch the Weather Channel for images of winter's brutality unleashed upon our fellow Americans and thank our lucky stars we don't have to contend with it.

We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer's wreckage. We will welcome summer's ghost.

Life will not break your heart. It'll crush it.

Don't hide behind the Constitution or the Bible. If you're against gay marriage, just be honest, put a scarlet 'H' on your shirt, and say, 'I am a homophobe!'

Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a hopeless romantic who listens to love ballads and doo-wop songs all the time.

Your commander would never lie to you. That's the vice president's job.