Baffling late-life discovery: Golfers wear those awful clothes on purpose.

Satire of satire tends to be self-canceling, and deliberate shock tactics soon lose their ability to shock, especially when they're too deliberate.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

The precise location of heaven on earth has never been established but it may very well be right here

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.

Philosophically, I don't like doing commercials.