I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour: he will always use it in evidence against you.

Cynicism is the humour of hatred

God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because he may knock you down.

When I pass my name in such large letters I blush, but at the same time instinctively raise my hat.

The only man who wasn't spoilt by being lionized was Daniel.

She kissed her way into society. I don't like her. But don't misunderstand me: my dislike is purely platonic.