When I pass my name in such large letters I blush, but at the same time instinctively raise my hat.

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour: he will always use it in evidence against you.

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.

I'll have that one, please.

Every man is a potential genius until he does something.