The English public doesn't really like Shakespeare; it prefers football.

There is no stronger craving in the world than that of the rich for titles, except that of the titled for riches.

An author should be delighted, not annoyed when he hears himself persistently misquoted. He could receive no higher compliment. It proves that the world has frequent and urgent need of his thoughts and will rather change the manner in which he expresses them than do without the things expressed.

Misquotation is the pride and privilege of the learned.

I am inclined to think that one's education has been in vain if one fails to learn that most schoolmasters are idiots.

Fate stalks us with depressing monotony from womb to tomb, and, when we are least expecting it, deals us a series of crushing blows from behind.

Never neglect an opportunity to play leap-frog; it is the best of all games, and, unlike the terribly serious and conscientious pastimes of modern youth, will never become professionalized.