I cling to the fantasy that I could have done something more creative. Like actually writing a script, or writing a book. But the awful truth is that I... probably can't!

I could do with more mobbing. Particularly from women. I'd like to be treated like Ricky Martin.

Plus, teaching brings home to you very fast that you actually know nothing. I didn't realize that before.

I had Courtney Love's left bosom out of her dress on my plate in front of me. It was extraordinary. I didn't know where to look.

But I just know from experience that accent wise, even if you're an accent genius, crossing the Atlantic is the hardest thing in the world either way.

My grandmother was utterly convinced I'd wind up as the Archbishop of Canterbury. And, to be honest, I've never entirely ruled it out.

Women are frightening. If you get to 41 as a man, you're quite battle-scarred.